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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25251406">Mediocre Me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/emoedgelord/pseuds/emoedgelord'>emoedgelord</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Fluff, briefly touching on some what ifs that's been bounching around in my head, covers some of his arcs in the manga, getting together fic, he is my comfort character and it pains me to see that there's not enough fics about him, i am soft for tanakiyo, i really love tanaka, manga spoilers for the anime onlys, so here i am to spread my tanaka loving agenda</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 05:29:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,086</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25251406</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/emoedgelord/pseuds/emoedgelord</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Tanaka-centric.</p><p>It’s hard to just be simple and earnest, but somehow Tanaka makes it work. </p><p>After all, he doesn’t have time to waste looking down and feeling bad about himself.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Shimizu Kiyoko/Tanaka Ryuunosuke</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>79</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Mediocre Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>with haikyuu ending next week, i suddenly found myself spiraling with headcanons. so here we are.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">Tanaka meets her during his first year.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">The gym was hot, sticky, and smelled of a sweaty boys. He remembers sulking off to the side, not because he was shy, quite the opposite really, but he knew he wanted to make an impression. He wasn’t exactly tall like most of of the volleyball players on the team and would consider himself slightly above average in skill if he was being honest with himself. So, he decides to play up this delinquent persona to avoid being seen as the weakest link.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Tanaka forces a scowl on his face as he stares down the other first years, despite wanting nothing more than talk their ears off about his interests and get to learn about theirs. But he can’t be lame right off the bat now can he?</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">He’s gotta ease them into it, he thinks. So he kicks at the ground and mutters to himself.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Tanaka remembers looking up at the sound of someone entering the gym and he swears his heart stopped beating in that moment when the prettiest girl makes an appearance. He had felt his jaw drop, eyes widening in disbelief at how someone could be God’s favorite, her long black hair falling perfectly on her shoulders as she moves to put on her gym shoes.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">His brain short circuits and Tanaka says the first thing that came to mind,</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">“MARRY ME, PLEASE!” he yells out in his own disbelief, his voice echoing across the gymnasium. It feels like the world has unanimously decided to stop in that moment as he waits in bated breath.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">She just gives him a weird look and a casual, “Nope,” before moving on, away from him to go about her managerial duties.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">He feels his entire face go up in flames as hears snickering from his fellow first years.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Well, there goes my image, Tanaka thinks to himself numbly as he watches her walk towards her fellow second years.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Face palming, he sulkily trudges over to his classmates. Figuring he as well make friends out of this embarrassing situation. Nothing like a few self deprecating jokes to lighten the mood and break the ice.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">-</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">He becomes fast friends with Nishinoya, who is one hell of a libero. Tanaka is pretty sure he had just met his platonic soulmate because who else would willingly listen to him ramble about the latest video game or obsess over the latest MV of the one super cute girl group while repeatedly watching their dance practices in order to learn the dance moves. The stan life sure is hard.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Oh, and Noya also has a crush on Kiyoko-san.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">A man after his own heart.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">A true man of culture.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Things can only go up from here.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">-</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">All was good until it wasn’t.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">His fellow first years start quitting one after the other. So Tanaka grits his teeth and plasters a smile on his face despite the sinking feeling in his stomach.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Coach Ukai continues to yell during drills and scrimmages, to push the team to be better. As if tocompensate for their diminishing numbers. Tanaka pretends not see the exhaustion on his senpais faces after every practice matches.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Their hardened eyes at every loss.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4"><em>“The flightless crows,"</em> they were called behind their backs. Tanaka grinds his teeth and flexes his muscles, whipping his head at the person who spoke, ready to give them a piece of his mind.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Sugawara holds him back, with soft, slightly pained words, meanwhile his eyes told a different story. One full of anger and vengeance, while the other second years look on with similar expressions.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Tanaka finds that he admires that about them.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">At their resolve.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Enough so that he shaves his head that night, as a commitment to himself that he will do his best for the team, to help them achieve their goal.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">The clean shave does help him feel refreshed.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">He didn’t account for the light teasing of Daichi and Asahi, who kept calling him Buddha, which he grumbles at but secretly preens because he was just a boy who loved attention.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Or when Sugawara refuses to stop rubbing his head.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">-</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">The loss against Date Tech cemented their standing on the Miyagi Division. The dream of ever going to nationals slips through their fingers once again.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">And if he found himself broke down that night after their last game, curled up into a ball, drowning out his sorrows with alternative music playing a little too loud, pillow stained with tears.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Then that was between him and his demons.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Saeko-nii leaves his dinner outside his room that night.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">-</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Tanaka does his best to fill the ace role when Asahi-senpai stops showing up for practice.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Because as much as likes to boast about his abilities, he knew deep down that he was lacking.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">But he’ll get there, dammit.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">-</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">So he does what he does best. He boasts, he jokes,</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">He’s loud.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">And pretends that it doesn’t affect him. That he’s strong enough to over come the blockade that suddenly presents itself in front of him every few months.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Because the team needs him now more than ever, to up their morale.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">And he doesn’t want to disappoint them.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">-</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Tanaka doesn’t realize it at the time and probably never will, but his resilience and consistency helped kept the then flightless crows from being permanently grounded.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">-</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">The biggest blow is when Noya quits on him, too.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Because he wasn’t expecting it.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">And suddenly he is the only first year left.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">-</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">They still hang out of course, in class and outside of the school. Noya would still come over when he’s bored and sleepovers were still a thing when his grandpa was out of town.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">They’re best friends, and he could never hold it against Noya for making that decision.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">But sometimes practice gets a little too hard, his muscles strained just a bit more than usual, and all he wants is his best friend by his side.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">-</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">He tries to ask Kiyoko-san on a date once again and tries to wipe off the disappointment on his face as quickly as he can when she rejects him. Instead, Tanaka gives her his best smile and pretends that everything is okay, until it is.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Because why wouldn’t it be? She didn’t owe him anything after all.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">And least this time she said more than two words to him, encouraging him instead to go practice.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">The thought was enough to get his heart racing as he clutches at his shirt, feeling it pounding in his chest. The sudden thrum of adrenaline coursing through his veins at justbeing near her and being spoken to.</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p4">Tanaka walks away from the interaction humming to himself, a slight skip to his step as he goes searching for Sugawara to ask for some tosses. Today seems like a good day to practice his straights.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Maybe his luck was turning.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">-</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">He’s lying on the cold gymnasium floor, trying to catch his breath after an intense round of back to back matches. Momentarily closing his eyes to keep his head from spinning and chasing away the dark spots dancing away at the corners of his eyes.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">He’s not all too opposed if the ground swallowed him up at this moment.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Tanaka opens one eye when he feels a presence looming above him, immediately sitting up, groaning at the sudden rush of blood to his head, making him dizzy.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">When he realizes who’s in front of him, he stutters out what he hopes is something coherent when he comes face to face with Kiyoko-san, who hands him a water bottle and a towel before moving on to the other players.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Tanaka thanks her profusely, shakily moving to stand, suddenly feeling more pumped than ever.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">-</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">And slowly, things start to look back up again. Ennoshita returns to practice and Tanaka finds himself jumping at the boy, clinging onto him, as the other boy’s protest ignored. He welcoming Ennoshita back with opening arms before guffawing when coach makes the poor guy run extra laps as punishment for skipping practice.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Soon Kinoshita and Narita make their way back.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">And suddenly he’s not so alone anymore.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">-</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">They still tease him about Kiyoko’s constant rejections and Tanaka tries his best not to let it get to him.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">He changes his mind, maybe having them back was a mistake, as he rubs the back of his head, blushing profusely, stammering out a weak rebuttal that only furthers their laughter.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">-</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">First year come and goes, and he hopes his second year experience is even better.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Their new batch of first years seems promising enough, albeit a handful.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Maybe this is the year that Karasuno makes it to nationals, he thinks excitedly as he watches, amazed, at the freak duo’s quick.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">-</p><p class="p4">Asahi returns and along with him, Noya.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">And the team starts to feel more like a family again.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">-</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Kiyoko recruits a cute first year to take her place as a club manager for next year.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Tanaka brushes off her comments on his delinquent looks, already use to hearing them upon first glance, and focuses on putting his best foot forward.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">He is a senpai now who looks after his kohais, after all.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">He worries though, looking at how she flits around nervously, that boys from other schools might crowd and overwhelm her, so he pulls Noya to the side and they start scheming on how to best protect their newest member from unwanted prying eyes, if it ever comes to it.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">-</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">They made it to the Top 8 before ultimately losing to Kamomedai High.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">It’s was bittersweet, Tanaka thinks as they form a line facing their opponents, shaking their hands, congratulations all around at a great game played.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">He worries about his favorite first year, stricken with fever as he walks away from center court.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">-</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">He sees Kiyoko gathering the rest of the supplies into her sports bag, his feet already leading him towards her before he realizes what he’s doing.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Tanaka hesitates once he gets near her, his heart hammering at his chest. He had half the mind to turn around, she still hasn’t noticed him so there was still time to walk away, to avoid further embarrassment.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">But he wouldn’t be a man if he didn’t try one last time, a voice inside him whispers, maybe this time she’ll allow it, he wants to hope.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">But flashes of all the times she’s turn him down weighs on him the closer he gets to her, his brain going on autopilot when he gets within speaking distance.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">He is pretty sure he stopped breathing, his mouth opens before he can stop it.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">“...I’ll carry it for you,” Tanakafinds himself saying.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">There, short and simple.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">None of his usual theatrics.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">He stares straight ahead and hopes his hands aren’t fidgeting at his sides, as he waits with bated breath.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Kiyoko adopts a contemplative look on her face, looking away, actually considering it. Before breakinginto a smile, facing him, “Alright, I guess I can let you take it,” she says, softly.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">And Tanaka feels like his heart is going to burst with joy he wasn’t expecting, as he surges forward to accept the bag, slinging it over his shoulders, brows raising at how light it is. He tells her so, as they fall in step with one another.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">“That’s what I always said.”</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">And he suddenly remembers all the times she’s turned down his attempts at helping out, because she really was more than capable in doing things herself. He gives her a laugh in response and hopes his face isn’t as red as it feels.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">They walk in a comfortable silence, down some flight of stairs, until they spot where the rest of the team had gathered, getting ready to return back to their hotel. He turns to her, head tilting slightly and asks if she need to do any last minute shopping along the booths before they leave the stadium.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Tanaka doesn’t miss the way Kiyoko’s eyes scan around the stadium hall, eyes settle on a particular stand selling shirts before averting her gaze. Tanaka lightly touches the small of her back, nudging her in the direction he had caught her staring at as Kiyoko opens her mouth, lightly protesting.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Tanaka just smiles at her encouragingly, “It’s fine, we’ll be quick about it,” he glances back at their meeting place, mentally counting how many people were actually already there, “We still got time before we leave.”</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Kiyoko stares at him, then at their group, brows slightly furrowing as if thinking of something difficult before settling for an “Okay.”</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">-</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">When the team returned to the hotel, Noya jumps on him the moment Kiyoko disappears from their line of sight.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">“Ryuu! You lucky bastard!” Noya laughs, from his is place on Tanaka back, as he puts the other boy in a choke hold. Tanaka barely hooks his arms under Noya’s knees in an attempt to steady themselves before crashing on the floor, laughing all the the while.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">-</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Something definitely changed between them after Tokyo, Tanaka likes to think, but he didn’t want to push too hard incase she changes her mind.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">So he settles for a bright smile and a friendly hello every time he sees her, which wasn’t much as the third years had officially retired from the volleyball club and were busy with their college prep classes and preparing for graduation.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">He sees her one day, after school by her locker, as he is coming back from dropping off a bunch of class folders at the teachers lounge. She was getting ready to go home from the looks of it and he finds himself gravitating towards her.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">A notebook falls to the ground, and Tanaka immediately moves to scoops it up, trying his best not to yelp when he feels soft hands settle on top of his as they both reach for it at the same time.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">“A-ah! Sorry, Kiyoko-san!” he stutters out, handing her the notebook, his hands tingling from where she had touched him.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Kiyoko nods her head, and gives him an appreciative smile. Tanaka rubs at the back of his head, “It’s good to see you again,” he blurts out, “I miss you—I mean we miss you...all of you guys at practice,” he says conversationally, hoping she didn’t notice his backpedal. He continues on, “Yacchan is doing great by the way, you did well in picking her.”</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">“I’m glad,” Kiyoko says, her head disappearing back into her locker, “...I miss you guys, too.”</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Tanaka feels a blush coming on his face and is glad that she wasn’t looking his way as he shifts his weight from one foot to the other, debating if he should take his leave now before he ruins the moment by saying something stupid.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">He opens his mouth, to bid her a farewell when Kiyoko closes her locker with some sort of finality.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">“Walk me out?” she asks him tentatively, eyes refusing to meet his as she pushes a lock of hair behind her ears.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Tanaka feels like his body has ascended, as he stammers out a yes.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">-</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">That soon became their thing. Everyday after classes were over, Tanaka could be seen waiting patiently for her by her locker.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">He’d hold her books, as she shuffles things around her locker deciding what she should bring home with her. Tanaka would talk about his day and Kiyoko would listen, adding her input here and there. Lately, she had started tell him about her day as well. Then he would walk her to the school gates, making sure to return all her stuff to her that he had beencarrying and bid her a good night and a safe trip home before he runs back to the gymnasium for practice.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">She had protested at first, not wanting to be a bother since the volleyball gym was on the other side of the school, but Tanaka had insisted, saying it really wasn’t a big deal. Besides, Tanaka had reasoned, he wanted to talk to her more, if that was okay.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">She blushed prettily at his words, and playfully shoved at him before relenting.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">-</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Graduation comes for the third years, and the volleyball team shows up to cheer them on.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Tanaka tries to meet Kiyoko’s eyes unsuccessfully, amongst the throng of bodies. So he settles for plowing over to Sugawara, giving the third year a big ol’ bear hug, rubbing his face against the older boy’s shoulder as tears stream down his cheeks. Sugawara laughs at him, hands pushing at his bald head, and complains half-heartedly that he’s getting snot all over his newly pressed jacket.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Tanaka sniffs loudly, saying that he’ll miss him so much, to which Sugawara just snorts and say that they’ll still hang out, idiot.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Noyajoins in on the snot fest, arms wrapping around the two of them, prompting Tanaka to sob even more, until Daichi has to physically pull the two away. A mistake on the former captain’s part, as the dumb and dumber duo turn their attention towards him.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">-</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Once the chaos settles, and Tanaka feels like he’s fresh out of tears, he finds himself face to face with Kiyoko, looking as pretty as ever compared to his tear stained face and puffy red eyes, which he tries to rub away unsuccessfully.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">They’re both quiet for a moment, looking at each other, patiently waiting for the other to say something. He clears his throat and offers her his congratulations, opening his arms out tentatively giving her the option to choose to accept his offer of a hug. He’s mildly surprise when she wraps an arm around him, stiffening slightly then melting as he allows his arms to wrap around her waist, hooking his chin over her shoulder, committing this moment to memory before she pulls back.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Someone calls out Kiyoko’s name, as they both turn.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">“Ah. that’s my mom.” Kiyoko says stepping away from him, “I gotta go.”</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">“Wait!”</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Kiyoko pauses, looking at him in silent question.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">“C-can I have you number?” Tanaka finds himself stammering, one hand clutching his phone up, “I—you don’t have to give it to me of course but—“</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">“Sure,” she grins at him, taking the phone from his fingers as he watches her jaw-slacking as she inputs her number, returning it back.</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Her name is called again and this time Kiyoko does walk away, “I really have to go, but text me, yeah?”</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p4">Tanaka clutched his phone to his chest, in a daze, “O-of course!”</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p4">-</p><p class="p4"> </p><p class="p4">
  <strong>FIN.</strong>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>*slams fist onto table* tanakiyo rights! </p><p>still feels kinda open ended, might continue maybe</p><p>-</p><p>lilwaine10 on twitter</p></blockquote></div></div>
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